Its been so long. So long since I actually published something on this blog. I've written plenty of drafts. Spare thoughts that ended up on the page, but none of them So developed that I wanted to release them. I think I've found a few reasons. Here is the list.
- I started disliking self-referentiality. It is easy to write about one self. I could easily have kept up a diary of what I was doing. But somewhere along the way I lost interest in any narrative that was too introspective, too self searching. It seemed immature. Now my view on this is a little more refined. I think self-referentiality can be okay if you are using it actively to tell a story. Then it is only there to create a more more heartfelt introduction into a subject.
- I started caring about facts. When I went beyond myself, I found I had to provide some history or some factual content to ad to the value of the post. This is often a lot of work. Consequentially I often lost the drive to finish the post before my interests shifted. I study sociology, and much of the material behind a sociological analysis is pretty hard to get at. You need lots of sources, time to go through the material and often what you need is behind a paywall. I was never interested enough to do the effort to go beyond the opinion peace.
- My blog became too beautiful. One day I went all white. All color schemes were gone, extras pushed to the side so the text stood front and center. The aesthetic lift made me feel like the content needed to match. Sentences needed to get better, the material more profound and the images more carefully chosen. I still think this is true, but I think it's a good thing.
- I got a girlfriend. This is a non trivial reason. Meeting her filled up all the small pockets of time left in my life. Time when video-games weren't interesting enough to grab hold of me, or when professional responsibilities weren't guilting me from writing other stuff.
- Other creative work. I try not to stretch myself too thin. This year I've started drawing, I'm about to put my jazz project on pause, and I'm writing poetry for some music by a friend. That means I'm creatively occupied each week, and don't really feel the need to express myself differently. Textual intellectual creativity is also part of writing my master thesis. The blog just falls between two chairs.
There you have it. I think they are good reasons too. I'm happy with leaving the blog a little barren for a time. It's not as if it's going anywhere.
